Found a clueless one here:
Baseball and Basketball Cards – $800
over 1,700 cards, i have 1,569 basketball cards, 38 football cards, 100 baseball cards, 10 of top 20 slam dunk cards, and over 35 rookies…
some cards i have 3 Michael jordans, baseball, basketball and golf. all the characters from space jam….
Initial Take: Capitalizes Michael Jordan, but ignores most other grammatical issues. Picture has a pile of cards. What the heck is this picture good for. Is he illustrating how to pile them to make a bonfire? Perhaps he is letting us know that there are enough to make a 1′ x 1′ collage of cards? I’m just stunned out of 1700 cards, there are only 35 rookie cards. Boy was he collecting stupidly in the early 90s. I think what really intrigues me are the Space Jam cards. You know the guy was like 9 when he collected them, now just trying to pass it off as “collector’s items”.
Exchange with Idiot:
Me: Hello, my name is James Beckett from the Society of Mass Produced Cardboard. We would like to bestow on you, our weekly Craigslist award for “Best Use of Mass Produced Cards.” I assure you that this award is one of the most prestigious awards we bestow on ads on Craigslist. Once again, congratulations and I hope you use your prize wisely. Is there anything you would like to tell our readers?
CI: thanks for the award. does that mean you want to buy the cards? what is my prize what do you mean use>
Me: Clearly you are a man of few words, as I can see from your sparsely worded ad. Of course the picture you use, tells the buyer everything. Words are overrated especially when the stack of cards you show clearly illustrate the best of the best of your collection. I am actually surprised that you haven’t sold it of yet.
CI: me too lol . . . I think it’s a steal, you want to buy it right? what is my prize?
Me: Buy it? No my mentally challenged friend, I want to display it to all Craiglists sports card readers in all the land. Your prize is not monetary, rather it’s one of amazing value. Your ad will be featured as our weekly section dedicated to the vacuous of the world. <link>
CI: (expletive) you (expletive), quit wasting my time with your bull (expletive)! (expletive) off!
Me: OK but would you take $35 for it? I really do need to wallpaper my trash can and I think your cards would be perfect for it. Please consider the offer. My trash can really sucks the way it looks now.
End of Exchange
Conclusion: I like the way this rolled out, it pokes fun without being too much of an a-hole. I am still tweaking my responses so hopefully next time might even be funnier. Other ideas I am considering is playing the part of Dr. James Beckett and arguing book value with the CI. That would be freaking hysterical! Next week for certain!