(Chicago-IL) – For years Mario Mendoza, the light hitting short stop set the futility mark for poor average known as the Mendoza line.  Every year we hear about how players aren’t even reaching the Mendoza line for a batting average (around0.200).  This year Adam Dunn wants to change that line.  Dunn wants to be forever remembered as the player who redefined futility at the plate.

When asked about the Mendoza Line, Dunn was quoted as saying, “I would love to be hitting that high. This season batting 0.200 was my dream, now though I think it would be much more dramatic if I established a new line for futility, The Dunn Line.” Dunn has already trademarked “The Dunn Line” and “He’s all Dunn” because of the fees that could be generated for licensing rights.

Adam Dunn

Dunn hopes to lower the bar to 0.160 and he is well on his way to do so.  As of the time of this article he was batting 0.160 with 9 home runs and 122 strikeouts.  His current pace of only getting 90 hits this season would likely also be a record for an everyday player.  Dunn’s hitting coach said, “Adam has been working very hard at his swings through the strike zone, although he has had 9 home runs he is working harder and harder to swing higher or lower than the pitch and he is really starting the drive the balls right into the ground for ground outs.”

Ozzie Guillen his manager says, “Adam is not putting enough balls in play, we couldn’t be happier for him.  The entire team relishes the fact that he is going to set the new futility mark.”  For many years Guillen tried to set that mark but failed, always seeming to get hot mid season and run his average all the the way up into the 0.230s.  Guillen went on to say, “I worked hard my entire professional playing career to lower the bar, but it just got out of my reach.  I feel like Adam is really going to do it this year.  It truly is something special to watch.”

Dunn had previously been known for his prolific power, 7 straight seasons of 35+ home runs and 100+ RBIs.  This season he should finish around 20 homers and 70 RBIs.  Which when you think about it, would be a stunning coup in itself.  John Fairmont, baseball historian notes, “We are witnessing history here, something that hasn’t been seen since Rob Deer’s historic 1991 season where he hit 0.179 with 25 home runs, 64 RBIs and 175 strikeouts.”  When asked about Deer’s prolific 1991 season Dunn added, “I’m shooting for 240 strikeouts so that I own that seasonal record as well.  You have to be totally committed in doing this, If I can continue to hit 0.160 you better believe it’s going to be with a record setting strikeout rate as well.”

As for the hobby industry, Dunn’s cards have taken a hit due to his new endeavors. Dunn super collector Roger Benson has seen his $20,000 investment drop substantially in recent months.  He is hoping along with everyone else who collects Dunn exclusively that the new record will only enhance the value of his cards.  “I’m willing to take the hit on my investment, but only if it comes along with his new mark.  It’s the only way the cards will bounce back in value.”

Stiener Sports has already hopped on this bandwagon and has signed Dunn to a contract.  Dunn will sign 160 balls with the inscriptions “The Dunn Line” or “I’m all Dunn”.  Prices have not been set on the signed balls, but with an event that’s a season in the making, you know it’s going to fetch a pretty penny.  Who knows, maybe next year we will be talking about someone trying to hit over the Dunn line.  Somewhere in the clubhouse Adam Dunn is smiling about that very thought.


One response »

  1. Brian B says:

    TOTALLY NOTHING to do with this, but you can go to Steiner and buy an autographed DJ 3K ball, signed by the guy that caught it for $34.99, hmmm can I get it inscribed, Im the dumba** who gave away anywhere between $100,000-$500,000 to a guy building a 38,000 sq ft waterfront home in Tampa, will make approx $210 million on the field in the final 13 yrs of his career, on top of what, $50-$100 mill in endorsements, oh, and Jeter dates Minka Kelly to boot, sorry, I love my Yankees, have there logo tattoed on my leg, 21 yr partial season ticket holder, been to at least 600 games, and LOVE Jeter, Im selling the ball guys, gotta think Jeter, The Yanks or Steiner would have offered at least a qtr mill, I couldnt have given it back, I got a wife, 2 teenagers, college to worry about, sorry Captain Fantastic…SHOW ME THE MONEY

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